Hi, my name is Arynette Neal and I am
a human-doing, not a human being.
These are my confessions. I live
a fairly active lifestyle and I love it.
I am grateful for it. I am blessed because I am healthy enough and
energetic enough to be able to do what I love every single day. My job as a licensed massage therapist is
physically demanding and on my days off I can be found practicing in yoga
class, hiking in the woods, reading, writing or just plain adulting. I seem to
be always doing something. I am fully aware that it is vital and healthy
for all of us to have balance in our lives and take the time to rest, restore
and recharge on a regular basis. I
advocate this to my friends and clients. I just do not always practice it.
American society tends to glorify
being busy, almost as if it is a competition, emphasizing to all of our family
and friends how crazy busy we are. I am definitely a product of my society when
it comes to this, always on the go, my mind constantly scanning through
checklists of obligations. There is
always so much to do, too much to do, and I always feel like I have to be doing
something. In a 2014 Cadillac car commercial the actor says, "Why do we work so hard? For what? For this?
For stuff? In other countries they work. They stroll home and stop at the café.
They take August off. Off. Why aren't you like that? Why aren't we like
that?" The man continues to say, "It's pretty simple. You work hard.
You create your own luck. And you gotta believe anything is possible. As for
all the stuff, that's the upside of only taking two weeks off in August,
n'est-ce pas?" So is that
supposed to be the “American dream”?
Now, it is true that one does have to work hard in order to achieve his or her dreams, but is this commercial implying that more stuff, possessions, are a more quality reward for our hard work than the actual quality of our lives? It seems to be sending the message that it is better to work overtime to be able to afford the latest iPhone, or in this case, Cadillac, than it is to have more vacation time and enjoy that valuable time with loved ones or ourselves. I feel it is important to ask, is having more "stuff" really serving or bodies, minds and spirits well? Especially, when chronic stress is linked to the six leading causes of death: heart disease, cancer, lung ailments, cirrhosis of the liver and suicide, and we are seeing these conditions and other stress-related diseases on the rise. Lack of health, dis-ease, is a high price to pay for this lifestyle.
According to Gallup.com, the average American work week, full time, is 47 hours a week, which equates to 6 days and 4 in 10 people report working 52 hours per week. Many people state having increased responsibilities at work due to company downsizing and even bring work home so they do not get too far behind. Add on the multitasking of family obligations, chores, errands, workouts and it is no wonder we have little to no time to chill. We spend much of our time doing and little to no time being.
As an empath and a light worker, I am very sensitive to the state of the environment I am in, especially any changes, shifts or cycles, such as moon cycles, seasonal changes, fluctuations in what people around me are feeling, and any general universal energy shifts. I also pick up various levels of energy from my massage and Reiki clients, which can affect me and drain my energy if I allow it. Whatever the reason, sometimes, I feel like my energy is low and my body, mind and spirit sends me the message to slow down, to rest. My Reiki teacher told me, because of how intensely light workers feel and work with energy, when I feel like I need to rest… just rest. There are times when I find myself sleeping longer than usual and taking naps in the daytime. There are times when I practice stillness in meditation, working to quiet my mind. But I am used to being on the go, so sitting around just doing nothing is very foreign to me and frankly, outside of my comfort zone.
According to Gallup.com, the average American work week, full time, is 47 hours a week, which equates to 6 days and 4 in 10 people report working 52 hours per week. Many people state having increased responsibilities at work due to company downsizing and even bring work home so they do not get too far behind. Add on the multitasking of family obligations, chores, errands, workouts and it is no wonder we have little to no time to chill. We spend much of our time doing and little to no time being.
As an empath and a light worker, I am very sensitive to the state of the environment I am in, especially any changes, shifts or cycles, such as moon cycles, seasonal changes, fluctuations in what people around me are feeling, and any general universal energy shifts. I also pick up various levels of energy from my massage and Reiki clients, which can affect me and drain my energy if I allow it. Whatever the reason, sometimes, I feel like my energy is low and my body, mind and spirit sends me the message to slow down, to rest. My Reiki teacher told me, because of how intensely light workers feel and work with energy, when I feel like I need to rest… just rest. There are times when I find myself sleeping longer than usual and taking naps in the daytime. There are times when I practice stillness in meditation, working to quiet my mind. But I am used to being on the go, so sitting around just doing nothing is very foreign to me and frankly, outside of my comfort zone.
As I curl up to take a nap or bum
around on those Netflix and chill days, I observe myself justifying to myself why it was ok to rest. “I have to take a
day off because I don’t feel well.” “I
had to get some sleep because I’ve been working overtime all week.” “I work my butt off and I deserve a day at
the spa.” While it is true that
hardworking people deserve to treat themselves, why can’t a person simply take
a relax day just because….just because they want to? It is a little ridiculous that I feel guilty
for relaxing, like I am playing hooky from school. Over this past 4th of July holiday
weekend, I ended up having four days off. At first, my mind went into a slight
panic mode and I thought, I should pick up some work. Then, a guide’s voice
said, “Or you could just enjoy four days off.”
So I did. Rest and relaxation need no justification, in fact, the are a
necessity to our overall wellbeing.
I
remember in kindergarten we would have nap time in the afternoon. After lunch and recess we would have a snack
(graham crackers and milk) and then, lay down on mats on the floor and take a
nap. Not everyone would fall asleep, but
it was a time to stop everything and rest.
At the time I was avidly against naptime, whether it was initiated by my
teacher or my mother, but now, I would give my biggest crystal for some
rest-time in the afternoon when everything stops and I have a moment to
re-center myself. Imagine in the
afternoon of a workday when sitting in a pointless meeting that is dragging on
way too long or answering that one hundredth email, your boss comes in and
says, “Stop everything! It is time for
our afternoon guided meditation.” Studies show
that a short 10-20 minute afternoon siesta can lower blood pressure, enhances
creativity, and improve alertness and short term memory.
So
what exactly is, just being and how does one just be? In his book The Power of Now, Eckhart
Tolle describes a state of being as, “the eternal, ever-present One Life beyond
the myriad forms of life that are subject to birth and death.” It is all around
us and deep within us, our “deepest self,” our “true nature.” He also calls it “no mind” when the mind is
still and we are completely present in the Now.
One way to practice being present is to practice a few minutes of
meditation a day. Practice stillness.
Connect with our breath. Connect with
ourselves. How often in the hustle and
bustle of our day do we take the opportunity to slow things down and check in
with ourselves and connect to the beautiful essence that is all around us? I
like to sit in nature and just tune in to the sounds around me: the wind, the rustling of the leaves, the
crashing of the waves or the trickling of running water in the creek, the birds
singing, the Light. It may seem
challenging to fit in this meditation time into our already tight schedules,
but I offer this Old Zen Saying, "Practice meditation for 20 minutes a day, unless you're too busy than practice for an hour." Even 5 minutes of meditation per day can be greatly beneficial.
Another way to practice just being is to receive a massage or energy treatment, www.positivevibesmassage.com. Many of us spend the majority of the day giving, expending our time and energy to our jobs, our friends, our obligations, that just opening ourselves to receive can bring balance to our lives. When laying on the massage table it is a chance to literally put ourselves in someone else's hands and let go of the need to do anything. It is an opportunity to connect to ourselves, focus on our breath and increase our awareness of what is going on with our physical, mental and spiritual selves. I recommend using these sessions to let go of the past and refrain from worrying about the future and just receive, resonate within and be.
Now, the main way I create space for my “me time,” for my
“just be time” is by practicing yoga. I
have had so many people express to me that yoga is too slow or too boring. They
need a fitness class that moves at a faster pace to match their racing minds
they are unable to slow down. I respond
to them the fact that a major part of yoga is about slowing down (slowing down
the pace, slowing down the breath) and that is exactly why they need and should
practice yoga. It can serve as a healthy
counter-balance to our typical, high-stressed, light speed-paced, on-the-go lives
that never seems to stop. Yoga is oftentimes the one time of my day where I can
truly focus on myself, my own needs, and my own energy. The one time where I
only pay attention to what is within the four corners of my mat and truly
connect with myself. And that is what yoga is “oneness,” “union”. It allows us
to slow down enough to be able to unite with ourselves. Even though,
technically, I am moving and doing
something by flowing from pose to pose, it is a moving meditation, similar to
qi gong or when a person is in a space of creating. I am in the zone. The class concludes with savasana, corpse pose,
where we lie on our backs, our bodies more relaxed than when we started, concentrating on
our breaths and just connecting…just be-ing, which is the purpose of the whole
practice. One of my yoga instructors, Viki
Santana says, “Be a human being. Being a human-doing is overrated.”
I invite everyone to slow down, to stop, to do
nothing. Unplug from electronic devices. Practice stillness of the body,
mind and spirit. Unify within. Gaze at the clouds. Listen to the rain fall. Watch the butterflies dance. Feel the breeze on your skin. Sleep in. Float
in the water. Sway in the hammock. Be present. Just breathe. Just be.
